Random Acts of Kindness

Each and every one of us has a different perspective on life. One thing I have learned is that people are going to believe whatever they want to believe. Our brains can come up with the most outrageous version of what we think the truth is and we can find ways to justify our thoughts. Why is one person’s perception so different from someone else’s? I think people believe what they need to believe in order to justify their own actions.
There once was a time where my mind was trying to tell me the story and I was not focused on reality. I regret that I listened to my mind and not what was real. I knew my mind could have been wrong, so I chose to proceed with caution. I didn’t want to miss out on a great opportunity if my mind was going to be wrong.
It was earlier this school year. My middle son, C.J., is 10 years old. He is severely autistic and is non-verbal. The other 10 year olds at his school were going on a field trip. They were going to go camping for 4 days. The school staff and the staff at the camping site really wanted Chris to go. They offered to cover the cost of the field trip so my family would not have to endure any of the expenses.
While we were on the field trip, we did a lot of hiking. Several times during the hike, we’d stop, gather in a group, and the tour guide would teach the kids some relative information about the things that surrounded us. C.J. did not want to sit still for very long and he let his opinion be known to all of us. I’d let him get up and walk around so he wasn’t much of a distraction to the other kids who were trying to learn.
During one of the hikes, they taught the kids to build a fire using sticks and rocks. They split the kids into groups and each group of kids worked together to make their own fire using the sticks and rocks. Of course, each group had an adult helping them too. One of the dad’s came over to my son and me and said he wanted C.J. to have the full experience of the camp, even if it appeared he wasn’t paying any attention. This man sat down with C.J. gathered some sticks, mulch and a few other things and started to make a site for a small fire. He spent time trying to keep C.J. focused on what he was doing. After so much effort, he got the fire going. C.J., being autistic, didn’t have much of a reaction to the flame. He briefly enjoyed the heat, and the color of the fire, but that was about it.
After that, we continued to hike down the trail. We stopped again and the tour guide talked about how cavemen made shelter using logs. There were logs all around us and they asked the kids to make a small shelter using the logs. Again this man helped my son and me. My son lost interest in this activity pretty quickly. He wasn’t to impressed with hauling logs from one place to another. We got the shelter built, but ours was small because of my son’s lack of interest. The other kids were having a great time and did a great deal of work building their shelter. My son wanted to do his own thing, so I let him wander around a bit while the kids were finishing up their work.
While the kids were finishing, this man got a branch off the ground, took a knife out of his pocket and started to whittle. He told me how he loves to make walking sticks and will often carve animal shapes into the top of the walking stick. He wanted to carve a stick for my son.
C.J. and I ended up having to leave the field trip a day early. We left before the man had finished carving the walking stick for my son. After the field trip ended, this man found my phone number in the school’s PTA directory and called me. He had finished the walking stick but we had to leave before he could give it to us. He had tried leaving the walking stick at the school for my son, but the school wouldn’t allow it because the walking stick could be used as a weapon. He really wanted my son to have the stick and hoped we could all meet somewhere so he could give it to my child. My family met him at my daughter’s school football game. He gave us the walking stick, said hi to Chris and we never heard from him again.
This man was so nice to my son and me, but the whole time I felt extremely uncomfortable. My brain wanted to make up a story, telling me he had an ulterior motive behind his kindness. But he didn’t. He really just wanted to do a nice thing for my son. It was nothing more than that. Why is it so hard for us to believe that some people really just want to be nice to us. Why is it so hard for us to accept the generosity of strangers? Why are we so quick to let our minds tell the story? Why do we jump to conclusions and make assumptions about another person’s motive? I feel guilty that I judged this man’s actions, but I am thankful that even though I was cautious, I gave him the chance to show me what his true motives were. I learned a lesson that day. It is better to continue in these uncomfortable situations with caution than it is to shut these kind of people out because your brain tells you a story that is different than reality.
Lord, I pray you will allow us to accept the generosity of others, including strangers, without fear. I thank you for giving me the strength to proceed with caution that day to allow this good deed be done. I pray that one day, I will have the courage to offer kindness to a stranger the way that man offered kindness to my son.
I keep the song, Open up Your Eyes by Tonic on my phone as a reminder to not let my mind tell the story here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lDIJjnCHco