11 Things Autism has Taught Me

My middle child is 10 years old and has classic autism. He will not speak, he could if he wanted to, but as of yet, he has no desire to utter a word. He is dependent on us for everything. Imagine an 18 month old in a 10 year olds’ body. There are a lot of reasons for me to allow myself to let his autism get the best of me and make me miserable. I choose not to allow that to happen. In the beginning, it was hard. I fought every single day to find happiness. I made myself get super excited about something that seemed so small. It was a lot of effort on my own part. I was determined to not allow this to make me a bitter person. So here is a list of things Autism has taught me.

1. Autism has taught me how to find joy in life. I take pride in the smallest achievement. I focus on the things he can do. I focus on his happiness.
2. Autism has taught me to appreciate what I have. I’ve learned that any house in any location can be made into a home if you make the choice to allow it. Friends will be there for you when life circumstances has separated you from family members. The key is, it is up to you to put yourself out there and make yourself known.
3. Autism has taught me to accept that which I cannot control. As I stated before, my son is dependent on us for everything. One day, we aren’t going to be here to care for him. My support group is made up of adults. Chris is going to outlive everyone in my support group. Who’s going to take care of him then? I can make arrangements for him to receive care, but when I’m gone, I won’t have any control over the quality of care he receives.
4. Autism has taught me to accept kindness from others. People have seen Chris in public places and have offered a word of praise. Most times, these are people who also have children with autism.
5. Autism has taught me to be stronger. My son doesn’t speak. I have to be his voice. If someone mistreats him, I have to speak up for him. I have also learned how strong other people can be.
6. Autism has taught me to see love in different ways. My son can’t say, “I love you mom.” But he can show me he loves me. A quick tap on the shoulder is a sign of affection from my son.
7. Autism has taught me to be patient.
8. Autism has taught me that a lot of people are caring and have the desire to understand. It has also taught me that some people don’t care nor do they have the desire to understand.
9. Autism has taught me to have a conversation with someone only using body language.
10. Autism has taught me to accept other people’s opinions better. Because he is non-verbal, I have no clue what Chris’ opinion about anything really is.
11. Autism has taught me to learn to give myself a break. When you’re trying to get your autistic child to do something, it can be very frustrating. The child gets frustrated when they don’t understand what they are doing or why they are doing it. You get frustrated because you know they could do the task at hand. You eventually reach a level of frustration where nothing is going to get accomplished and the best thing to do is step back and take a break.

These are just a few of the things I have learned on my journey with autism. I imagine there is so much more I have to learn. If you have a loved one with autism, or any other disability, what have you learned?